Twas the Night
by Raikou Ikazuchi
Summary: Roy entirely blamed the spiked eggnog and the Santa hat... the latter of which was currently hanging on his ceiling fan. What had happened the previous night? Yaoi, RoyEd, HavocFury


**Twas the night…**

Christmas challenge fanfic for a friend. Just a fluffy, corny one-shot.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or this story or whatever. I'm just a poor, obsessed fan. I doubt the characters are very in-character… well, except for Fury, but otherwise, something or another makes the characters very out of character. Sorry…

Warnings: Extreme OOC, Shonen Ai (or Yaoi, however you want to see it), Havoc/Fury and Roy/Ed (Ed/Roy maybe? I dunno…) and enough fluff to turn your brain into cotton balls, enough sap to turn you into a tree, more than enough cheese to turn this fanfic into a dairy farm, and enough corniness to turn you into a corn field (har de har har). You have been warned. And did I mention the extreme OOC?

Roy could NOT figure out how his Santa Hat ended up on the ceiling fan.

Christmas was a wonderful holiday; he remembered thinking, as he strolled down the hallway of HQ, freshly brewed coffee in hand. HQ had been nicely decorated, thanks to his entire staff. Even the Fullmetal Shrimp had participated, and he didn't even celebrate Christmas.

It was the Eve, and the East Headquarters Christmas party had been in full swing for a number of hours. Havoc had managed to decimate a fourth of the alcohol and was currently standing with one foot on the coffee table, retelling explicit tales of him and his lover in the dark, dim light of the bedroom. Fury, the other protagonist of the wonderful stories, was blushing a color unknown to humankind… or perhaps that was the spiked eggnog. Whatever the reason, it was amusing to see his face getting redder, and redder, and redder until he could give Rudolph a run for his money.

Eventually, though, everyone grew bored of Havoc's excruciatingly detailed stories and worked together to tie him up, gag him, and throw him in an obsolete corner where he was promptly ignored by everyone except, of course, Fury.

This whole time, Edward and Alphonse had been nowhere in sight, which, thought Mustang, was probably good for both the brothers. They didn't need to be bothered with… those aspects of life. Not yet, anyhow. Still, it was unlike both of them to miss such a big event. Perhaps they were taking this "I-don't-celebrate-Christmas-so-just-leave-me-alone" thing a little bit too seriously. It wasn't good for a boy to be spending so much time to himself and his alchemy.

Even Mustang had been in the spirit, and it was that spirit that convinced him to actually wear the ridiculous Santa Hat (whose brothers were perched happily on everybody else's head). It was also the spirit that gave him the courage to try and disturb the short (and short-tempered) alchemist from his reading. So, he quietly snuck into the library, and, finding a flicker of candlelight from amongst the shelves, eventually located Edward. He was, of course, reading, and the Taisa found great interest that he was swaying a bit, his attention flickering from the book to the newcomer. That was odd. When Ed was absorbed in his reading, nothing could faze him, but Roy eventually found the cup of half-finished eggnog.

"You get drunk after half a cup of spiked eggnog?" Roy deadpanned, actually wondering how much alcohol Breda managed to sneak in the drink.

Ed hiccupped wildly and giggled, shaking his head.

"Nope! I got refills!" He grinned, standing up uneasily. "Um… This many!" he exclaimed, showing Mustang five human fingers and two metal ones, before giggling like mad again. So he DID listen to Havoc after all. That wasn't good.

Mustang actually backed up, freaked out. Ed was giggling. GIGGLING. The hot-headed, short-tempered, little-nonsense Fullmetal Alchemist… was giggling. And suddenly, he was latched onto Mustang's leg. Roy really didn't know whether to be amazed or scared. So he instead settled for a combination of both, glad that he had stuck to coffee.

"Where's your brother?" Mustang asked, hoping the younger Elric would appear and restrain Ed before the drunken teen could do anything stupid.

"Uh…" There was a pause, at which Roy took the opportunity to wrench his leg out of Edward's limp grasp.

Wait… limp?

Mustang checked Edward again, seeing that the teen had actually passed out and was currently snoozing the alcohol away. He then winced. Fullmetal's hangover would be fierce as fire in the morning. Roy almost turned and left, but Christmas spirit and pity overtook him and he put out the candle, replaced the book on the shelf, and picked up the unconscious Edward. At the movement, Edward immediately latched onto the Taisa, burrowing his nose into Roy's neck. Roy shifted uncomfortably, trying to find a position where Ed's platform shoes were NOT digging into his back. He eventually gave up and just walked back to Edward's dormitory, finding a note pinned to the door.

"Niisan, I've gone to visit the Rockbells. Don't worry about me, enjoy your time off, and please don't kill Mustang-Taisa. Sincerely, Al."

Roy had vaguely wondered when Al would be back, and dug into Ed's coat pocket for the keys. Successful, he pulled them out and opened the door, meaning to dump Ed on the bed and leave.

But there was a problem.

Ed didn't WANT Roy to leave, and only clung tighter still to him. The resulting action was that when Mustang tried to drop Ed on the bed, he was pulled down as well. Roy actually started to doubt that Ed really was drunk and in fact, he was doing all this on purpose, if only to irk his superior. The Taisa waited a while, as if expecting Al and the others to burst in with a camera, take a blackmail picture, and make him do whatever they wished. But no one came, and Ed didn't stir otherwise.

Suddenly, the Elric just dropped. Roy stumbled back in surprise at Ed's random movement, but didn't trip or anything. Ed was now lying peacefully on the bed, snoring as if there was no tomorrow.

So Roy left.

That was all he remembered. So why, he wondered, were his (and somebody else's) clothes strewn across his room, his Santa Hat on the ceiling fan, and a naked Edward curled up right next to him?

Roy thought harder.

Oh yes, he remembered. After dropping off Edward, he didn't feel like re-joining the party, so he instead retired to his own dormitory. Except that he forgot to lock his door, and guess who came stumbling in not ten minutes later? Bleary, but still drunk and incoherent, the small, blond-haired alchemist had thrown himself on top of the blankets (shoeless and coatless), efficiently startling Mustang. Both lay quite still, Roy out of shock, Edward out of who knows what (probably the alcohol). It seemed… that Edward enjoyed making Mustang his personal pillow, though the Taisa was thoroughly confused.

What the hell made HIM so cuddly?

Flustered, Roy tried to push Ed off of him. Tried, being the key word. The kid stuck to him like white on rice, and, after a bit of fighting, Roy eventually gave up and slumped back down, seriously considering if burning down the dormitory was worth it to get Ed off.

But the younger boy, instead of going away as Roy had asked him to numerous times (or to be precise, "Ed, WAKE UP AND FUCK OFF!"), only snuggled closer and gave a content, alcohol induced sigh. Roy was content to let him stay there, so long as he didn't do anything else. He heard the party go out with a bang, literally, as the booze was finished off and everyone passed out on the floor. In the meantime, Ed had actually started shivering in the cold night's air, despite his closeness to the other man. The automail must have been stealing all his heat, Roy remembered thinking. Yet another pang of Christmas spirit and pity hit him, and he decided that if Ed was going to stay here, he might as well be warm.

But Ed wouldn't let him get out of the bed. The Fullmetal Alchemist would not let go of the Flame Alchemist's neck. Mustang struggled again, eventually falling to the floor in a crumpled heap with Ed on top of him. Frustrated, he threw back the covers and once again, tried unsuccessfully to peel the younger off him. But to no avail. So, tired and needing sleep, he gave up and climbed under the warm covers, Ed and all.

Well, that would explain why Ed was in his bed in the first place. But… Mustang tried to clear the fuzzy night memories. What had happened later?

He definitely remembered sleeping for a little while. He couldn't remember for how long, though, but he did wake up to a shifting sensation next to his body. Roy's eyes slowly, sleepily, opened, focusing on the mass of blond hair in his face. Edward had actually stopped clinging to him, and instead, was turned away, curled up and still shivering. Well, this was an interesting turn of events. Was this really the kid latched onto him not… Mustang stared at the clock… twenty minutes ago? He reached out and poked Ed, who shuddered and curled up tighter.

Mustang was really confused now.

"What happened?" Ed asked meekly. Mustang shrugged, nonchalant.

"I dragged you to your room, dumped you there, and went to bed. You came in a few minutes ago and wouldn't let go. I would've let you freeze without covers, but that'd ruin the Christmas spirit."

"I feel like a chainsaw's spitting my head."

"No surprise. You got shockingly drunk off of the eggnog Breda spiked."

"Oh." Ed stopped talking then, pondering Mustang's explanation. He turned, facing the Taisa, squinting through his golden eyes even though the sun was nowhere near rising. Ed shivered again. Winter must have seriously sucked for him… stupid automail. So, overcome by pity, spirit, and sleepiness, Roy reached out and held Ed close, sharing his body heat with the ill-stricken teen.

It took a while, but Ed eventually stopped shaking.

Okay… but Roy _still_ couldn't explain the obvious lack of clothes or the Santa Hat, for that matter.

Had he fallen asleep? Maybe… or maybe not. Ed definitely had, though, and Mustang was content just watching the boy sleep. It was funny, he thought, how even the worst, evilest person looked innocent when cast in a deep slumber. And Ed just looked childish, younger, but tired. Those eyes had seen far more than anybody at his age, and they showed it. Anger, sadness, happiness, boredom, ect. All his emotions were spinning in his eyes. But closed, there was nothing but the bliss of a deep and dreamless sleep.

Those eyes suddenly twitched, and slowly opened. Ed grumbled something dark about hangovers and a very low-sounding but graphic description of what he was going to do to Breda when he saw him again. Roy almost laughed, but he was too sleepy and didn't exactly want to darken Ed's mood further.

"Go back to sleep, Edward. Sunrise is still a long time coming."

"I don't want to." Ed grumpily replied.

"What, staying up to meet Santa Claus, little boy?"

Ed didn't even have the spirit to retort. This worried Roy a little, but he brushed it off.

"Just try and go back to sleep."

"But I can't."

"Not sleepy or the hangover?"

"… Both."

"Well what do you want, a bedtime story?"

"That doesn't sound too bad."

Roy sort of stared down at the top of Edward's head, surprised for the umpteenth time in five hours. It was probably some of the alcohol still influencing Edward's thinking, he decided.

"Are you going to tell me a story or not?"

"Alright, alright, fine." Mustang decided, playing along. "There was once a little boy who wouldn't go to sleep and kept his highly superior officer up so when morning came and it was time to go to work the superior officer was so tired he was cranky and burned everything he could, including the little boy. So the little boy died and that's the end of the hero so there's no reason this story should go on."

Ed sort of twitched.

"Damn, you suck at bedtime stories."

"That was my first one."

"Doesn't change the fact that you still suck. Who knew Santa was such a bad storyteller?"

"SUH-SUH…SANTA?!"

"Yeah, Santa. Shouldn't you be riding around in that sleigh being pulled by those reindeer? Wait… what're their names again… Um… Hawkeye, Havoc, Fury, Farman, Breda, Black Hayate, Armstrong, and… Um… Alphonse?"

Roy could only stare.

"What is possessing you to think that I'm Santa and that those are my reindeer?" He asked, wondering whether to be flattered at being a child's magical Christmastime hero and miracle, or angry at being mistaken for a fat old man with a beard.

"Well duh," Ed rolled his eyes (wincing at the effect the hangover gave him) and tapped the hat on Roy's head. "You have the hat. Therefore, you are Santa."

Roy found himself wondering again HOW much alcohol Breda managed to sneak in the eggnog. It seemed that Edward had _forgotten_ that he didn't celebrate Christmas or believe in the Santa story. For goodness sakes, he was SIXTEEN!

"Are you okay, Santa? You look like a fish."

"Edward, go to sleep right now and forget about this incident, or else you're going on my naughty list and you're getting a lump of coal for Christmas." Roy desperately lied, trying to un-delude Edward. But wait… was the blond… SMIRKING at him?!

"Oh…" Ed whispered, slithering up to stare eye-level at Roy. "But I already think I'm on the naughty list… ROY!"

At his exclamation, Ed reached up with serpent-like speed and ripped the hat off Roy's head, throwing it over his shoulder in one swift clean movement.

So that would explain the hat… Roy thought, looking up at the ceiling fan. The small blotch of red lazily twirled round and round, hanging precariously off a single blade.

And what about the afterwards? What had happened next?

Oh yes, he was faintly scared. Roy didn't have his spark gloves anywhere near him, and he mentally made a note to himself to always, ALWAYS have them a foot away at the very most.

"Did you really think you'd be able to fool me with that pathetic disguise?"

"No. Because I wasn't trying to disguise myself."

"HA! As if, Mustang!" Edward barked loudly, right into Roy's face.

Roy was tired. It was unusual for him to be awake at this time of day, nonetheless bantering with a drunken Edward. So he did the only thing he could to try and shut Ed up.

Roy pulled Edward's head down and covered his mouth with a wet kiss.

He wasn't sure what happened next, but Edward's mind must have imploded or something. The blond actually fell off of Roy, gasping and panting with surprise and the sensation of the kiss. He lay quite still for some time, probably stunned, and Roy got the impression that Edward had fallen asleep. So he closed his eyes and was thoroughly winded when Ed tackled him and sloppily kissed him again. Not to be outdone, Roy brutally kissed back, leading Edward's inexperienced tongue in a wet dance.

Suddenly, Roy flipped their positions, managing to sweep Edward under him in less than two seconds. Ed, disorientated by the sudden movement, took a while to regain his sense of direction. But how CUTE he looked, confused and dizzy! Roy found himself almost disappointed when orientation finally caught up with Ed.

But as the younger alchemist started moving again, Roy found himself not disappointed at all. Maybe Breda spiking the eggnog wasn't too bad after all. But then he shook his head, wondering what the hell he was doing. It was too early, FAR too early in the morning to be awake and Roy was not thinking coherently. Again, WHAT was he DOING? Ed wasn't even of age yet, and he wasn't even the one controlling his actions. The alcohol was! So with a sigh, he rolled off, hugging Edward close instead.

The younger alchemist had squeaked at Roy's absence, burying his face into the nape of the older man's neck. Ed tried for another kiss, but Roy pulled away forcefully, denying contact. Ed pouted a bit, whining as he dove for Roy's mouth. Roy allowed the kiss this time, swiping his tongue over Edward's lips and successfully gaining willing access to the younger's mouth. But he only dipped in a little, tasting the nectar flavoring of Ed's mouth before pulling out, much to the chagrin of the blond.

"What's the matter? I thought you wanted this too…"

"You're drunk and sleepy. I know that you don't know what you're doing and it'd be unfair for me to take advantage of that fact."

"I'm not druuuuunk…" Edward whined, looking at Roy with pleading eyes.

"Yes, you are. If you weren't drunk you'd have strangled me hours ago."

"But I want this…"

"No you don't. I repeat, Edward, you're drunk, sleepy, and probably horny. Go to sleep and come morning we'll see what you really think."

"I know what I really think now!"

"Edward… no."

"Aww… but… can I at least tell you what I want for Christmas?"

"… You're going to confide your deepest Christmas wish in your Taisa. Okay, Edward, you are officially drunk."

"So does that mean I can't tell you what I want for Christmas?"

Damn, it was that voice. That pleading, charming, whining voice. Roy never could get over that voice. Ed knew what the combination of those eyes and that voice could do to him, and the young alchemist used full advantage of that. It wasn't fair.

"Fine… tell me what you want for Christmas." Roy gave in, already having a good idea of what Ed's request was. The mentioned snuggled closer, whispering just slightly into Roy's right ear.

(WARNING: EXTREME CORNINESS AND SAP!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED; PROCEED AT YOUR OWN CAUTION!!!)

"I've been thinking about this for a while… not just today…" The voice and the faint warm breath against his ear was enough to make Roy's breath hitch and small tingles to run up and down his spine. Was Edward doing this on purpose? Maybe he wasn't as drunk as Roy imagined… "And what I want for Christmas is _you,_ Taisa." Edward finished, purring softly.

"Well, then, who am I to deny you of your Christmas wish?" Roy replied, with a familiar knowing smirk. "'tis the season, after all."

**(Um… right here is a tiny sorta a lime/lemonish scene and you can skip right down to the conclusion or actually read it. I didn't mean to drag it out so long, but… oops. You should be able to figure out what happened if you don't read this, and if you can't… --; I pity you)**

**Last warning: this is my first lime/lemon scene. Please don't kill me if it sucks. hides**

And then Roy pounced. He pressed his mouth against Edward's, exploring the blond's mouth and swimming in the delightfully sweet taste. Nectar and strawberries, with a slight hint of eggnog, of course. Beneath him, Edward moaned, shifting to better reach Roy's mouth. The kiss was a smooth tango, tracing damp patterns inside their mouths. Edward was undeniably horny, and getting even more so as Roy's hands moved downward. The sudden, gentle pressure on his groin made the golden-eyed boy gasp, panting as the kiss was broken.

Roy really did love being in control. He felt powerful to know that he was the one making Edward squirm and moan and pant like this. The blond's eyes were lustful and pleading, asking… almost begging for more. So slowly, Roy withdrew his hands and parted Edward's knees, frowning slightly when they closed in virginal reflex. Edward winced, slowly relaxing and spreading his legs, wrapping his ankles around Roy's torso and trying for another kiss.

Instead, Roy stuck his fingers into Ed's lunging mouth, feeling as the younger swirled his tongue around the digits in a purposeful, slow, seductive manner that made heat flood into Roy's lower body.

The last thing Roy remembered thinking was "_Yes, Edward. You are definitely on the naughty list."_

**(Slight Lime/Lemon scene over. Squeamish people and people actually looking for decent literature, you can read again)**

There was a slight shuffle on the bed next to him, and Roy looked over as Edward woke up. The boy opened his eyes, winced at the sun, and buried his head underneath the pillow with a muffled groan. Roy stood up and closed the curtains, throwing a blanket over them to keep out most of the sunlight. He then made his way back to the bed, picking up some boxers and pants along the way.

Roy started to poke Ed, trying to coax him out from under the pillow. Ed gave a small grunt of resistance, hugging the pillow even more tightly to his head. The Fullmetal Alchemist could be quite possessive when he wanted to, Roy observed. So instead of trying to drag the boy from under the pillow, Roy dragged the pillow away from the boy. Ed groped around with one hand over his eyes, finally finding the thick comforter and draping _that_ over his head.

Roy almost laughed, but then he caught a look at the alarm clock that had fallen off his nightstand, and he blanched. He was _really_ going to get it from Hawkeye now. But there was no movement outside the room, and the only sounds inside were Ed's moans about the hangover. Perhaps everyone else was suffering from the same case as Ed. Roy slowly peeled the comforter away, exposing the naked boy underneath.

With no pillow and no blankets, Ed could only curl up tighter, still groaning about how much of a headache he had.

So to make it better, Roy swooped down and gave his lover a passionate kiss, dropping the clothes onto the floor. All further complaints were stopped, and Edward, his head spinning with a sensational mixture of throbbing pain and building pleasure, could only process one coherent phrase from Roy.

"Merry Christmas, Edward."

Owari

I'm not sure if Roy is currently residing in his family's estate or not (probably he is), but for the sake of this story, let's just say that he decided to crash in a dorm because he didn't want to drive all the way to the estate.

It's a major spoiler, but the reason Hughes isn't on the list has to do with the timeline. I won't say anything beyond that, even though people who have read/watched the future episodes and people who are really good at taking hints should already know.

AN: If you managed to read all that, I applaud you. You are one very, very, very dedicated soul. I know, I know, the lime/lemon scene probably did suck, but do remember that this is my first fanfic. Wow… what was I sniffing when I wrote this? shakes head Oh well. Um… please review, please? puppy dog eyes I know, it's after Christmas, but I don't know anybody willing to lend me their account, and there's a three-day waiting period for new users. rolls eyes So this was supposed to be up on the 25th, but stupid site wouldn't let me upload it. Damn…


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